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The cost of doing the right thing gets too much attention. The cost of doing nothing gets too little. Eating broccoli to lose weight sounds like a sacrifice until you compare it to hating your body every single day. Writing and rewriting a rough draft sounds hard until compared to realizing you didn’t write a single page of your novel last year. Yes hard work is hard. But regret is so much harder.
[Read more…] about Your Goals Are Hard – But Living With Regret Is Harder
Genuinely caring about somebody a lot, does not guarantee they care about you equally (or at all) in return. Some people will never care about you regardless of what you do or say. So don’t assume somebody appreciates you just because you do nice things for them.
This is something that I unfortunately didn’t learn until well into adulthood – It may sound obvious when its spelled out, but when you’re in the actual situation its not always so clear. Most of my life I thought if I really cared about somebody a lot, then they must care about me to some degree in return. It always felt like that connection was so strong it had to be mutual, even if the obvious signs showed otherwise.
4 Simple Ways To Make Sure That You Avoid The Friend Zone
One of the most common ways to friend zone yourself is to neglect flirting with her. Instead of flirting, most guys settle for befriending her.
That’s great, but if you’re not careful, you’ll convince her that you’re not interested in “that way,” and she’ll mentally classify you as a friend.
Now your job just got 100 times harder.
Nothing will work until YOU do the work. Stop looking for another system and JUST DO IT.
Stop looking for the next tip, trick, big idea, etc. that will change your life. It will fail just like all the other tips, tricks, big ideas you’ve read on the Internet and tried for like 5 seconds. Because YOU don’t do anything consistently enough to see any results. YOU are the problem.
(photo: @steve3p_0)
If you want to have self discipline to do the things you know you need to do, then you need to know your “why”.
Your “why” is what drives you and stops you from getting lazy and giving in to temptation.
For example, if you weigh 500lbs and you want to lose all that extra weight, you will be presented with temptations to over eat, eat unhealthy foods, etc.
In those moments of temptation where you want to binge on 3 big Macs and 2 Oreo mcflurries, the only thing that can get you to resist the desire to over eat is to have your “why” deeply ingrained in your mind.
Your why in this situation is your ideal body. What feelings does having that ideal body evoke inside you?
A month ago I finished A Monk’s Guide to a Clean House and Mind by Shoukei Matsumoto, and it has had a pretty sizable impact on my focus, productivity, and well-being.
Like many, I have had good weeks and bad weeks trying to better myself and instill new habits. Until I started cleaning regularly I didn’t realize that merely having a messy room, no matter whether I was in it or not, was affecting how I treated my habits, my relationships, and myself. For me, cleaning is now the foundation for all of my other habits.
You have to do it yourself, whether you’re rich or poor, out of money or raking it in, the beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you have to do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter what unjust, sad, sucky things befall you. Self-pity is a dead-end road. You make the choice to drive down it. It’s up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out.”
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(photo: @aloragriffiths)
“It is a fundamental law of nature that to evolve one has to push one’s limits, which is painful, in order to gain strength. Nature gives us pain as a messaging device to tell us that we are approaching, or that we have exceeded, our limits in some way. At the same time, nature made the process of getting stronger require us to push our limits. Gaining strength is the adaptation process of the body and the mind to encountering one’s limits, which is painful. In other words, both pain and strength typically result from encountering one’s barriers. When we encounter pain, we are at an important juncture in our decision-making process.”
I get many jokes about my appearance. It’s understood. If I didn’t look the way I did and saw somebody who had my appearance I probably would have some funny shit to say too. Hell I even have fun about myself sometimes too. But this is what I know. I know for a fact I won’t get another chance at this life. I know for a fact it could of been me and not my grandfather left in the fire. I know I speak for the thousands of others who are afraid to show their face because the fear of being judged. It’s not our fault. We didn’t say “hell yea I want that fire” we all have a test. Mine starts with accepting my appearance in myself that’s why there is nothing anybody can say to me that would hurt my feelings. I hope my battle helps you with your insecurities. If I can walk with my head up high then there is nothing you have to hide. Express yourself and be yourself. Thank you all for your support.
– Ken Dawg
Your mind wants to grow so you have to feed it. Your mind doesn’t ask “what have you done for me lately?”, it asks “what have you done for me today?” You have to apply pressure to things in order to make them grow.
When you are in the hurt locker, you have to take great pleasure in the fact that no one wants to be where the fuck you are right now. Take great pleasure knowing that your mind is stronger than the conditions being put in front of you.
