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As an actual narcissist, I’m writing anonymously to avoid being exposed. I may not be officially diagnosed with NPD (nor I’d ever want to be), but two of my psychologists, including the current one, described me as "a narcissist", and being a psychology student myself, I think it’s unfortunately accurate.
My self-image, it’s quite inconsistent. Sometimes, I do feel grandiose, but in many aspects I am objectively above-average, at least.
1. Central/west coast FL. 2016 grad. Commercial real estate. $145k + 10% of what I bring in. 1800 billables. $5k bonus for every 100 billed hours over 1800.
2. Bay Area, immigration, barred since 2019, 163k + bonus. My job is hybrid not fully remote but I sometimes go weeks without stepping foot in the office.
Years ago, aged eighteen, I joined MENSA. I left after a year, having seen ample evidence to support the old description of MENSA as “The society for people impressed by their own intelligence”. In truth, the whole organization was creepy.
Anyway, when I applied they sent me an IQ test which you sent in to be scored. If you scored highly enough they asked you to attend a monitored exam. I scored 158 on the test at home and 159 when I went to London to be tested.
I have never encountered anything, either at school, university or at work that has been intellectually difficult for me.
1. Absolutely. It’s the best thing ever. It can be hard sometimes but a good attitude goes a long way. Some of mine are grown or almost and some are not so I am in the lucky position of getting to see the payoff while still in the trenches. I can tell you I am just as head-over-heels about my 21-year-old as I was when she was a baby. She is still the very best girl ever, and I am super lucky to be her mom.
What are your urges like?
The need for sex is constantly present. The pleasure it brings is pure euphoria. And I have the constant need for it so when I get it, I want it even more. All the time. The better the sex, the more sex, the happier I am.
This occurred in April 2023, this is not a current 2024 crime wave fear monger, I’m a latino american, do not look american whatsoever, pass for brazilian (important for later) and am fluent in spanish with a slight accent that could sound brazilian.
I was invited out to Vintrash Bar (Gringo Tuesdays) by a friend in Bogota colombia, I was hesitant to go and did not really like this club I had a free cover charge so I just went to go along, I brought along my burner iPhone 11 who’s Sim card stopped working that exact night, no banking apps or anything other than navigational apps and uber.
1. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now and I love her a lot, but I don’t think I can see us getting married. I would love to get married but I just don’t think she’s the one.
We have lots of good times but we also argue a lot. We have different core values which doesn’t help cause I feel like I can never voice my public opinion to her.
1. No particular straw and I wouldn’t say “swore it off”. But a long time of bad experiences and rejection/failure (and subsequently reflecting on the pain that it caused me) just slowly but steadily made me arrive at the point where I’ve given up and have stopprd caring altogether.
I would probably compare it to an aspring musician who eventually came to the realization that he was never going to make it big, so he just moved on with his life and got a “normal” job.
1. I retired at 30 and have been at it for almost 5 years now. I live a pretty low-key, lazy life that would probably drive a lot of people crazy from boredom, but I often find myself wishing I could live this way for eternity and it’s a shame life is so short.
1. We keep dating. We never stopped dating. We absolutely prioritize us over anything and anyone else.
We make a point of nonsexual touching and kissing frequently.
We have a lot of sex. You have to make this a commitment. Schedule it if need be.This is the cement of your bond.
We express appreciation and gratitude to each other. We know he is better at some things, and I am better at other things, and we are a team for a mutual cause. No competition.
No mind games. We work hard at identifying times we might be manipulative or passive-aggressive and call each other on it.
We keep other people out of our relationship.
We keep working on open, transparent communication. We keep trying to be empathetic and not jump to conclusions or make assumptions — those are very bad.
And very emphatically, we are each other’s safe place — emotionally, physically, spiritually, psychologically. If he expresses an emotionality, I will NEVER bring that into his face ever again, and vice versa.
