Bf doesn’t look at me during sex
I know he’s a highly visual person because he used to watch porn multiple times a day before he told me he cut back (after multiple arguments) because it was causing issues in our bedroom and serving as a crutch not to cheat on me, which led to attempts to cheat. He even took videos of him and his ex doing the same positions, so yes, highly visual.
He used to look at my legs, my stomach, and my face during sex and tell me my expressions turned him on, but I guess that was during the “honeymoon” period of him trying to reconnect with me.
Back when I knew there was a problem one of the red flags was he would watch porn while I was giving him head, or he would only want to hit it from the back so he could watch porn, and overall he lost his arousal sometimes during the act or before and took a long time to orgasm.
If he knew I would see his phone out then he’d just look away from me or be distant so he could watch porn in his head or think about something else to finish.
Very recently, like within the past week, whenever we have sex he pulls the blanket over us and puts his head in the pillow next to mine facing away from my body/face. The entire time. No eye contact, no kissing, no looking at my legs or body. It’s like he comes faster if he isn’t looking at me. Then when he orgasms, he lays on top of me and is sure to kiss my face when he pulls away so I feel like everything’s normal. We go straight to sleep afterwards.
My weight hasn’t changed and my interest is the same as last month I guess. I lost a lot of attraction when I found out he wasn’t that into me sexually anymore, but I thought we were working through it and I started to enjoy sex with him again.
Should I just give up? Am I overthinking or is it likely he’s fantasizing about other bodies in order to nut? The body types he watches in porn are very different from mine.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.