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How to Break Free From The “Nice Guy” Stereotype

(photo: @kellysikkema)

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Nice guys finish last” and perhaps you’ve experienced it as you watch pushy, inconsiderate guys get the job you want or get the romantic attention of someone you’ve been pining for. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but when you’re so nice to everyone that you stop being nice to yourself, your efforts can backfire. Here are some ways to show people that you value yourself and that they should value you, too.

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The Ramblings Of A Psychotic ‘Nice Guy’

I received these journals (and pen, don’t forget the pen!) plus flowers, candy and a huge stuffed bear from my former cubicle neighbor at a job I worked at for 3 years. As you’ll see, the guy is fucking nuts.

These are just a selection. Most of the entries (221 total) are rather mundane, just notating what I wear, and anything that pops into his crazy head that he feels I want to hear him blather on about.

Our cubicles were next to each other the whole time I worked at this firm. We were kinda friendly the first six months I was there. Then he asked me on a date. I very politely declined. I was very firm that I don’t date co-workers and what-not.

After that, besides for a friendly hello, he said almost nothing to me. We were on different teams, so it wasn’t a big deal to me.

But after I turned him down, he started keeping this journal. This entry also takes a turn into the crazy end. Up until now he called me pet names and talked as if we were currently dating.

This is the first time he really reveals that he’s planned the rest of our lives out for us. The last 9 months of the journals get really bad.

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The Daily Man-Up

nice guy vs good men

Distinguishing the key differences between Nice Guys and genuinely good men.

In this world, there is a subset of men that believe women are only attracted to assholes.

Which is true, if you preface this belief with ‘very few’.

The vast majority of women are attracted to good men.

The subset of men that believe otherwise are Nice Guys.

What’s a Nice Guy?

A man that displays overwhelming acts of kindness towards women, with a firm expectation of immediate romantic or sexual rewards.

Some of the common traits of a Nice Guy include:

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9 Women Who Gave A ‘Nice Guy’ A Chance Describe Their Experiences

nice guy experience

1. He seemed a bit shy but goofy,smart and genuinely kind when he approached me, so I agreed to go out and we hit it off at first. Deep, meaningful conversation about our personal challenges, him quickly meeting my friends and me being the first person he called after a family emergency. We were both pretty vulnerable, but things were seemingly progressing somewhat well.

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