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1. Every morning when I wake up, I want to go back to sleep. Not because I’m tired, but because I can’t face the world like this. I dress myself up as best as I can manage, and I do my hair by physical memory. I avoid the mirror.
Whenever I look in the mirror, I want to throw up. I want to rip my eyes out and never see again. I wish I could go to the store and return the parts of my face. Tell them: “This wasn’t what I ordered. I need a refund”. Get a replacement and finally love myself.
How did you first react?
I found out at 3 in the morning. I was putting away some laundry and tidying my room before crashing. The ticket was on my dresser so I gave it a quick check assuming it would be a bust so I could throw it in the waste paper basket.
When the numbers matched I sort of swooned and got dizzy. I kept double checking and stayed up to go to the lottery office when it opened. Some of the longest hours of my life. I was very red and warm, I kept fanning myself for a few days.
First, you need to understand that there are actually two steps to passing a kidney stone and you can “pass a stone” by going through either or both of these steps. An “internal passing” means a stone is migrating from your kidney to your bladder, while an “external passing” means a stone is migrating from your bladder to your toilet (if you’re lucky). My first stone was internal; my second was both.
I went mad once. I even was institutionalized and put under anti-psychotics. I was conscious of it, at first, I guess it was because I’m introverted. I noticed my mind was working awkwardly, logical actions started to seem illogical. Things like Why am I stuck in this line when I could just walk over that table and get to the door?
How big is the risk? Is there a rough estimate on how big the risk is of being robbed?
Messengers being shot in the back of the head while loading cash into ATM is a common thing. Granted, your head needs to be on a swivel. If you allow someone to walk up on you like that…. that’s essentially you signing your own death certificate.
So, I’ve been with my wife (34yo, I’m 35) for 17 years. High school sweethearts, and got married 7 months before he was born, as soon as we knew she was pregnant. We have always had sex, and enjoyed it, ever since we started, with very few breaks. I can say we had, so far, a very happy life together, and no reason whatsoever to think the opposite.
Can you describe your immediate thoughts and feelings upon winning?
Denial. I never thought I would win. I thought I was dreaming when I checked the numbers. I almost passed out during a conference call with the lottery officials and an estate lawyer when they told me I won the $40,000,000. I believed I was probably going to die before getting to spend it.
What did you do with the ticket immediately after finding out you had won? I would be so paranoid that I would lose it or something.
I hid it in a cereal box and contacted a lawyer.
I’m 32 years old and have struggled with social anxiety since childhood. I lost both my dad and mom to cancer in 2008 and 2014, respectively. I don’t have any siblings and haven’t had friends since high school. I feel truly alone in this world and desperately crave social interaction. My routine for the past 12 years has consisted of working a dead-end retail job and spending most of my free time watching porn. Despite my low wage, I was able to save a little over $50k through extreme frugality. I bring my own lunch to work, never eat out or get take-out, and have been wearing the same clothes for over a decade. So the concept of paying for porn seemed ridiculous to me before I got involved with a camgirl.
What pushed you to do it?
A lot. Losing my girlfriend, the savings account we worked at for years, the business we created. Just exacerbated my anxiety and depression.
How much is your father worth?
My father is worth just shy of $2 Billion liquid, and he’s on a rapid trajectory be worth significantly more.
