Nothing captivates a man’s attention quite like people throwing their bodies around in sweat-inducing fashion to win something. Doesn’t matter if we’re sitting across from the hottest girl in the bar—if there’s Division III women’s water polo playing on a screen behind her, we’ll have trouble maintaining eye contact. But not every endeavor calling itself a sport is worthy of that label—and the media exposure, fan admiration, and potential glory that come with it. Telltale signs? The activity’s top competitors are nutjobs, pantywaists, or schlubs. It’s a hyped-up version of something kids play in the backyard. And there’s no way to participate in it without looking absolutely ridiculous. That’s why the following 10 “sports” need to be taken behind the woodshed and beaten to a pulp by some real, actual jocks.
