• Skip to main content

Awesome Galore

The Most Awesome Men's Entertainment Site On The Internet

Regrets of a 59-Year-Old Man

March 22, 2024

I turned 59 yesterday

I turned 59 yesterday.

Life whizzes past faster than you can imagine.

Live in a subsidized senior apartment, 1 bedroom, balcony, I rent my parking space to another tenant, I have a bicycle and a scooter.

JFK was president when I was born. Seen a lot, didn’t do much of anything

Air Force for 30 years, now a night janitor at a government building, in a major US city.

Never married, never dated, almost had sex with a prostitute, but my self respect stopped me.

A couple of hobbies, nothing important, I read a lot, play the acoustic guitar.

No television, no microwave. Still use a typewriter. No, drugs, alchohol or smokes.

Lots of long walks with my dog, she is a Jack Russell Terrier named Stella, my best friend.

I exist, I don’t really live. I am probably an NPC. I exist to fill out the background in other people’s reality.

If you saw me on the bus you wouldn’t even look twice.

I have gone more than a week without speaking to anyone.

When I die no one will probably even notice. No one really notices that I am alive.

Lunchtime is almost over and I still have 15 bathrooms to clean.

Does it get better? Not really you just give up along the way.

Thanks for listening to a non entity for a few moments.

Filed Under: Life Advice, Life Advice

Caveman Circus | About Us | Contact | Editorial Policy | Privacy Policy | DMCA Copyright © 2026 StomachPunch Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved

Adblock Illustration

We noticed that you're using an adblocker

Panda is working really hard to provide you the best content for free. Unfortunately adblock is stealing all the panda's bamboo. Please consider disabling adblock.

Need help? Contact support