(photo: @authorkylebearden)
Confidence is felt. It’s intuited by women. It’s instinctual. Women unconsciously detect it by watching a man’s behavior carefully. It’s why women can often become turned off at the most innocuous moment or by the most unimportant statement.
Consciously, the action or statement may seem harmless, but unconsciously, it conveyed everything they need to know about your status: by your lack of confidence. As you are probably aware, women can be unconfident as well. And although a lack of confidence is a turn-off for most men, it’s not as influential as it is for most women.
To most women, a man with True Confidence is like a woman with perfect tits and a gorgeously sculpted ass.
To a woman, a man with no confidence is like having the worst breath and missing teeth.
Ideally, two emotionally healthy individuals will begin a relationship both with low investments in one another and they will steadily let the investment deepen as the relationship grows. In a healthy relationship, the gap in investment between the two parties would never grow too far apart and both man and woman should never let their investment in the other person ever surpass their investment in themselves.
This should not be mistaken for NOT being invested in the other person. If a man is attracted to a woman, then he should be affected by her – that’s why he’s with her, after all – but never more than she is by him. The minute he lets her dominate him emotionally, he demonstrates a lack of True Confidence and a lack of status. He’s no longer dependable. He loses his ability to make her feel secure. And his attractiveness slowly slips out the window.
Models – Mark Manson
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.