Stop considering whether people like you and start considering whether you like them
I used to always have that voice in the back of my head, do they like me? are they judging me? Always thinking that it held me back from being social.
You can control how you act. You can’t control whether or not people are going to like you. Some people might be really insecure and find reasons to dislike you for no reason. But even if you changed those things about yourself they would find some other reason to dislike you because you’re not the problem.
Control what you can control.
I remember telling this to someone talking about being nervous for a job interview a while ago. Focus on what you can control. Worrying about the things you can’t control is wasted energy because there’s literally nothing in your power to do to change it.
You can control showing up to the interview on time. You can control having a shower in the morning and wearing something nice and appropriate to the interview. You can control making sure your resume looks good and doesn’t have spelling errors in it.
You can do all those things, but you can’t control whether or not you’re going to get hired. You can’t control it if someone else happened to come in who had more experience than you. You can’t control it if the boss is a dick who decides they don’t like you for no reason.
You can’t control the outcome so don’t beat yourself up over it. Not everything will go your way. It’s OK. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Take it as a learning experience and think if there is anything you could do differently or improve upon.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.