Parenting

Parenting Matters: “When I Look at My Daughter, I See Myself… And It Hurts”

April 4, 2024

I am struggling with my relationship with my 12-year-old daughter and desperately need guidance. The truth is, as much as I love her, I find it very difficult to connect with her or even enjoy being around her.

My daughter is awkward, insecure, and doesn’t seem to fit in with her peers – a carbon copy of myself at that age. When i look at my daughter, i see myself… and it hurts. Seeing those painful traits resurface in her brings back a lot of my own unresolved issues from being an awkward preteen myself. I was an ugly duckling – glasses, bad teeth, never had the right clothes or friends. Now I see my daughter struggling socially in the same ways and it triggers so much anxiety and discomfort in me.

I know she can sense that I pull away from her. Hugging her feels forced, even though objectively I know she’s a great kid. With my younger sons, affection comes easily. But with my daughter, my own baggage gets in the way. The more she exhibits the traits I hated in myself, the more critical and impatient I find myself being with her.

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What Happens When You Raise Your Children to Fear You

March 6, 2024

Parenting is an art form that has evolved significantly over the years, moving away from authoritarian models toward more understanding and empathetic approaches.

Historically, some parents have operated under the belief that instilling fear in their children could lead to better discipline and respect.

However, modern psychology and long-term observations have begun to paint a more nuanced and often concerning picture of the repercussions of such practices. This article explores the potential outcomes of raising children in an atmosphere of fear, drawing on psychological insights and real-life implications.

Why You Should Not Rely on Your Children for Emotional Support

March 4, 2024

While a loving relationship with your children is crucial, relying on them for your emotional well-being can have detrimental effects on both you and them. Here’s why it’s important to seek adult support for your emotional needs, not your children’s.

Beyond Reporting: Teaching Children to Stand Strong Against Bullying

February 15, 2024

After about a year of dealing with it for my son, we decided to go scorched earth. Every single time an incident happened we would escalate it. Teacher, vice principal, principal, controller, school board trustees.

The most fucked up thing is everyone would rather just ignore it rather than deal with it. Make it everyone’s problem and be unrelenting.

A bully’s parents are not going to acknowledge any issues until they have to face some real consequences such as a threat of suspension or expulsion.

A story shared by a concerned parent highlights an all-too-common scenario: after enduring a year of bullying, they adopted a scorched-earth policy, reporting every incident up the educational hierarchy—from teacher to school board trustees.

While this method may force institutions to acknowledge and address the issue, it’s essential to consider its implications on a child’s growth versus the benefits of teaching them to stand up and defend themselves.

The Impact of Overbearing Parenting on Children

February 14, 2024

Raising children is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences a parent can have. The parenting style adopted can have profound impacts on a child’s development, shaping their personality, behavior, and emotional well-being.

Among the various approaches, one particularly controversial method is overbearing or “helicopter” parenting. This term refers to a style where parents are excessively involved in their child’s life, often making decisions for them, solving their problems, and closely monitoring their activities to an extent that exceeds typical parental responsibility.

While the intentions behind overbearing parenting may stem from a place of love and concern, its effects on children can be complex and multifaceted.

Why “Staying Together for the Kids” Does More Harm Than Good

February 1, 2024

The pressure to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of the children is immense. Society whispers, “Just think of the kids,” painting a picture of broken homes and traumatized youngsters. But the truth is, children are perceptive sponges, absorbing far more than we give them credit for. And when they witness a relationship devoid of love and joy, the consequences can be far-reaching and deeply damaging.

What is Attachment Theory?

January 8, 2024

Have you ever wondered why some people crave close relationships, while others seem perfectly content with solitude? Or maybe you’ve pondered why some struggle with trust and intimacy, while others form healthy, secure bonds with ease. The answers to these questions, and many more, lie in the fascinating realm of attachment theory.

How to Nurture a Moral Compass in Your Child

December 19, 2023

As children navigate an increasingly complex world, developing a strong internal moral compass to guide their choices proves vital. Amidst partisan feuds, corporate scandals, social media pressures and relaxed codes of conduct, the imperative falls on parents to consciously cultivate conscientious character within kids. Though schools and communities play a role, parents remain the primal ethical architects launching young lives.

What Are the Long Term Consequences of Yelling at Your Kid?

November 27, 2023

Many well-meaning parents downplay the traumatic impact raising one’s voice has on a child’s development. But far from harmless punishment or stress relief for adults, shouting, insults, and verbal threats can inflict lasting psychological damage on children.

Rather than chalking screaming up to letting off steam, we must recognize the destructive influence it has on vulnerable young minds. Verbal attacks early in life can forever alter a child’s trajectory, robbing them of self-confidence and relationship skills that echo for decades. Even occasionally losing control hurts kids in profound, enduring ways we dismiss far too casually.

Children Learn From Our Examples, Not Our Words

November 13, 2023

As parents, we often find ourselves in the position of lecturers, doling out words of wisdom and advice to our children, hoping to guide them towards the right path. However, what we say often pales in comparison to what we do. Children are astute observers, and from a very young age, they begin to learn from our examples rather than our words. This phenomenon is rooted in the basic psychology of human behavior and the innate tendency of children to imitate their parents.