
I am struggling with my relationship with my 12-year-old daughter and desperately need guidance. The truth is, as much as I love her, I find it very difficult to connect with her or even enjoy being around her.
My daughter is awkward, insecure, and doesn’t seem to fit in with her peers – a carbon copy of myself at that age. When i look at my daughter, i see myself… and it hurts. Seeing those painful traits resurface in her brings back a lot of my own unresolved issues from being an awkward preteen myself. I was an ugly duckling – glasses, bad teeth, never had the right clothes or friends. Now I see my daughter struggling socially in the same ways and it triggers so much anxiety and discomfort in me.
I know she can sense that I pull away from her. Hugging her feels forced, even though objectively I know she’s a great kid. With my younger sons, affection comes easily. But with my daughter, my own baggage gets in the way. The more she exhibits the traits I hated in myself, the more critical and impatient I find myself being with her.
[Read more…] about Parenting Matters: “When I Look at My Daughter, I See Myself… And It Hurts”








