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1. “Maybe you can treat yourself like a person and not like a project.” It changed my life. I’d been treating myself like something to fix, and seeing every little problem as evidence that I was a failure and a terrible person. I learned to give myself the same benefit of the doubt as I’d give any other human I met on the street. Humans make mistakes, including me—that doesn’t mean there’s issues to fix, it means I’m a person.
I have an old dog in kidney failure too. Haven’t told her yet, she just keeps being happy.
I’m old too, and I’ve had animals my whole life, mostly cats and dogs in various multiples. Do the math and you can see I’ve been here before.
The way I reconcile it is pretty straightforward, and well in line with the overall Stoic approach to things. It always begins the same way- see things plainly for what they are, understand the natures of the things involved, and respond reasonably and virtuously to the reality around us.
Life is a mosaic of experiences, each piece uniquely shaping our perspective and understanding of the world. Just as no two mosaics are the same, no two individuals perceive life in the same way.
Our experiences, both good and bad, mold our beliefs, values, and reactions. This diversity in perception is what makes humanity so rich and varied.
However, it also means that we must be cautious about passing judgment on others based on our own limited experiences.
(photo: @heftiba)
1. Here’s one, tested and approved. Keep a small notebook, well hidden from her, and from time to time, write down a note about something she liked, wanted to buy, a place she wanted to go or something she wanted to do. Keep the dates as well. Then, on a special occasion or when you can afford it (timewise as well as moneywise), get her that little something she wanted to buy or take her out to that restaurant she fancied etc. The key is NOT to do this immediately after she asks for it but rather to wait long enough for “it” to leave her immediate thoughts. With this, she knows you care but more importantly, she knows you LISTEN.
I know its often suggested and pretty much a meme, but I feel like getting a more social hobby really turned my life around. I thought it’d be nice to have a concrete example. For reference, I’m 5’2, Asian, socially awkward.
