How do you get over a really attractive gf who cheated?
I was with my ex for 7 years she’s 36 and I miss her all the time, I look at other women and they all seem like downgrades in comparison to my ex. She was perfect, great ass, great boobs slim waist, nice face. Everything about her physically was great, the internal not so much since she cheated on me and was manipulative and abusive at times.
But part of me still wants her and I am extremely jealous of the guy she cheated on me with as he is now with her in a relationship.
Whilst I can’t find anyone or am attracted to anyone. It’s been 8 months and I just feel stuck fantasising about her and what she’s doing and how I am never going to be with a woman as hot as her ever again in my life.
You’re caught up in this illusion that physical attractiveness is the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Wake up!
Emotional maturity means realizing that the foundation of a lasting relationship is built on respect, trust, and genuine connection, not just looks. Believe it or not, a partner with a slightly less perfect body but a golden personality is a massive upgrade.
Let’s cut to the chase: you’re not looking for a partner; you’re looking for a trophy. Treating relationships as if you’re collecting attractive objects rather than building connections with real people is shallow.
And guess what? That mindset will only attract relationships that are superficial and fraught with the same issues you’ve just experienced.
You say she was perfect, but let’s not kid ourselves. If your definition of “perfection” is solely based on someone’s physical attributes while ignoring their character, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
True perfection in a relationship involves a blend of physical attraction and, more importantly, emotional and intellectual compatibility.
It’s been 8 months, and you’re still hung up on her because you’ve yet to confront the deeper issues at play. You’re mourning not just the loss of this relationship but the shattering of your unrealistic expectations about what makes a relationship valuable.
It’s time to reflect on what you truly want in a partner beyond just their looks. If you can’t be honest with yourself about that, how can you expect honesty and integrity from others?
Before even thinking about getting into another relationship, you’ve got some serious self-reflection to do. Carrying this mindset and these unrealistic expectations into your next relationship is like walking into a storm expecting not to get wet.
Work on understanding what truly matters in a partner. Only then might you find someone who’s not only attractive to you but also brings joy, respect, and genuine love into your life.
No amount of physical beauty can compensate for a lack of respect and loyalty. Start valuing the qualities that build a strong, healthy relationship, and maybe then you’ll find the peace and happiness you’re looking for.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.