Sometimes when you meet a woman out in your daily life, you only get to chat for a few moments.
Because the conversation went by so quickly, you don’t bother inviting her out to see her again. You assume that there’s no way she’d be open to the idea in that short timeframe.
You think you didn’t talk to her long enough. You feel you didn’t build enough chemistry or get into a more engaging conversation. Maybe you believe you weren’t funny enough.
You have to realize that you don’t need all those things for a woman to be interested in seeing you again! In fact, what gets her enthusiastic to see where things could go is much simpler than that.
She wants to see two things…
Your self-confidence. The beauty of this is that introducing yourself to her and having the courage to go for her number showcases that. Your actions alone convey that you are confident in who you are. You show her that you’re the kind of leader who goes after what he wants.
You’re a normal guy. This sounds ridiculous but it’s true. If you can just do the basics of maintaining good eye contact and not rushing through your words, asking questions you’re actually curious about, and holding a basic conversation — that will take you far. She’s not expecting you to be flawless or fearless. She just wants to know you can talk to her like a regular person.
Every time you don’t take a shot, there’s literally ZERO chance that anything more will come from the interaction. So stop trying to protect your ego and invite her out.
Start following this absolute rule…
If you talk to any woman you find attractive for more than 1-2 minutes, extend an offer to meet up again.
The worst that could happen is you’d end up in the same position you would’ve been in if you didn’t ask. But either way, you’ll gain more confidence and experience for the next time.
Wait for an emotional high point to invite her out
I want to reiterate that regardless of whether or not you think the conversation went perfectly — you should invite a girl out.
That said, there is a strategic timing element that will improve your odds of getting a yes.
When we’re feeling positive emotions and a strong connection to someone else, we’re more likely to follow their lead. Those feelings overpower our anxiety and hesitation.
So that’s why it’s often best to invite someone out after they experience that “emotional high point”.
That could be her speaking to you with passion or her laughing at something you said. It could be her enthusiasm when asking you questions about yourself. It could be her leaning in closer to open up to you.
All these demonstrate that she’s feeling good and engaged by you. So when you invite her to hang out, that helps give her the courage to take that risk with you.
If you just invite her out when she hasn’t exactly responded positively, you’re at the mercy of how she feels in that moment. Is she comfortable enough to put herself out there?
This is especially useful in those shorter conversations. You talk for a few, hit an emotional high point or two, and within the next couple of minutes — pull the trigger.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.