(photo: @reka)
Many men have fragile egos when it comes to women. I’m not judging, my pride used to get the best of me, too. I couldn’t handle the reality of being rejected or losing a girl — it was one of my worst fears. I lived with a scarcity mentality.
Scarcity mentality is the belief that there’s a limited number of opportunities in your life. With women, if you miss out on a single chance, you’ll never get another like it. What happens is that you view your connections as win or lose situations. It’s black or white:
“If I don’t get this girl, I’m a failure and a loser. I’ll be alone forever. But if I do, I’m a real man and a winner.”
You then do everything in your power to “win” girls over. You will chase endlessly, pretend to be a friend for months or years, disrespect your time, and even let yourself get walked over — all because you can’t let go of this one girl.
This is a needy, desperate, and unattractive way of thinking. You are subconsciously reinforcing:
- I have no standards for myself and the women who are a part of my life. I will take whatever I can get whether or not they are right for me.
- I have no options for women. I have to latch onto every chance I get because I am not good enough to find someone else. Women who like me are rare.
- My self-worth is tied to my ability to attract women and their approval of me.
- I think of women as objects to be acquired. Their personalities, values, and mutual respect for me do not factor into my desire to sleep with them.
This scarcity mentality leaves you unfulfilled and destroys your self-esteem. Instead, you should be trying to build a mindset of abundance.
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