(photo: @chesterwade)
The Painful Experiences You Need to Meet the Women You Want
Simple question:
Do you want to meet more women?
Then here’s the hard truth:
At some point…
You WILL get rejected. Some women will be unavailable or uninterested to you.
You WILL have awkward moments. You will be nervous, stuck in your head, and not know what to say.
You WILL be seen as creepy. A woman may not find you attractive in the moment and perceive you as creepy. This may happen even when you introduce yourself in a normal, polite way that doesn’t justify it.
People WILL judge you. Someone may see you trying to talk to a woman and think it’s weird. Your friends might make might fun of you.
But the huge payoff is…you find an amazing girl who’s crazy about you!
So if you ever want to attract and connect with the women you really want…
You HAVE to accept that you’ll endure some emotional pain. You HAVE to be okay with causing some discomfort in the process. And you HAVE to accept the unavoidable reality that some women just. won’t. like. you.
As Ray Dalio says, “Pain + Reflection = Progress”
Those experiences are the only way you can grow and improve. That exposure and feedback is essential.
One reason you struggle to have choices in your romantic life is because you do the EXACT opposite of what will help you succeed.
You do everything possible to avoid pain.
You never want to have a “bad” real-world experience.
So you constantly read advice because it gives you a false sense that you’re making progress. You believe there’s some secret that will fix everything and make sure you never embarrass yourself.
You wait around hoping that some opportunity will present itself without you having to do anything. You spend years using online dating even when it’s frustrating and doesn’t deliver the type of women that interest you.
But the likelihood of this approach providing romantic fulfillment is almost non-existent.
When you avoid pain you avoid your potential for growth. Pain is an inevitable part of getting better at anything.
Check out the rest of the article here
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.