1. The guys that came in and knew the deal were great. Tip the girl on stage, get a lap dance, be polite. The worst were the guys that thought they were smarter than the strippers or that they could somehow game us. Like, one guy I remember went on a whole rant about how smart he was because he could tell it was all fake and the girls weren’t really attracted to the men. Uh, yeah dude, you’re a genius. Or when they think they’re funny by degrading the women. It’s not funny and you’re the one that looks bad. Honestly, for the most part I didn’t think about the guys much at all. I was on autopilot most of the time and didn’t judge them any more than thinking who looks interested in a private dance or who was a douchebag I wanted to avoid.
2. Generally depends on what kind of customer that person is really. The best kind is the dude who understands that it is all a game. They tip well, they are sociable and polite, may even be regulars with certain girls and are never a problem. The entire club staff loves guys like this.
The ones that the dancers hate? The “I don’t pay for dances” guy who thinks that line will somehow make him desirable for dancers? Captain Save a Ho, his trademark line goes something like “You are too beautiful/smart/amazing to be doing this, if you get with me you can leave this behind”. The pimps that go around asking the girls if they “Want to make some real money” are real pieces of shit as well. Then there was the ones that I really had a personal dislike for, the dudes who would try and wait in the parking lot at the end of the night because “Cinnamon and I really had a connection you know? She told me to wait for her!” No she didn’t buddy, IF Cinnamon told you that, she did so knowing that I would be kicking everybody out of the parking lot before the dancers left for the evening.
3. Depends on the person.
I’ve had stalkers follow me home. Creeps who tried to get violent with me at work. People who pissed me off.
I’ve also met some really wonderful people I’m fine with calling my friends. I just had a baby and invited two ex customers to my baby shower in June.
4. Of course I encountered all different types, but I am here to mention one type in particular (my favorite). There were a lot of customers who were lonely, or didn’t have anyone to talk to who would really listen to them. They figured out that they could come in and pay for company. I would sit at the table with one of my regulars for a few hours and just talk. I made a point of showing that I valued them as a person and was genuinely interested in their conversation. He knew that he was taking up my time, and every so often would hand me another bill. I didn’t pity them, I respected them for figuring out a way to engage with other humans and satisfy their need for connection.
5. I think it depends. I see all of the guys as potential for money.
If you’re rude to me or if you sit at the bar and don’t tip, then I think poorly of you.
6. It just depends on how they behave. Wanting to have a good time and be around nice, pretty girls and see some titties is perfectly normal to me. What makes me not like them is when they don’t understand what I’m there for.
Customers who understand that I’m providing a fantasy experience in exchange for money are the best. I don’t mind if they want to flirt, talk dirty, or squeeze as long as they stay respectful/playful and are paying me accordingly.
Customers who think they can do or say whatever they want to me without tipping or because they threw a couple ones at me are the ones I don’t like. And the customers who think just because they’re giving me money I no longer have boundaries. If you’re not tipping, or only tipping a little, don’t try to grab me when I walk by, don’t make nasty comments to me, don’t sit at the stage and stare all night and only tip $1.
And even if you are spending money on me, there are things that I am and am not ok with you doing, which I will happily explain if you ask before you try it. And don’t waste our time. We are there to make money, so if a dancer sits and starts talking to you and you’re not planning to get a dance, tell her that. Just give her a couple dollars for the conversation and politely say you’re not interested. Don’t let us sit there trying to hustle you if you know you’re broke. When customers are respectful and having fun, I have fun. When they’re gross, rude or broke I don’t.
7. I danced from 19 to about 27. Most of the guys coming into the clubs were just there for a good time, these guys wanted to drink, laugh and waste money. Harmless fun, except for their wallets.
Then you get the lonley guys, this is a whole different animal. They are there because they pay women for company, and friendship. Someone to listen to their stories, and yeah some of them wanted dances but many of them paid me hundreds of dollars to sit and chat for an hour. To really listen to their problems and what is happening in their lives. These men usually are divorced, widows, or bachelors well past their prime. With nobody at home, save for a dog or roommate.
The regulars are a different crowd, typically older men dressed nicely but not overly so. They walked straight to VIP as their preferred waitress scurried off to fetch them their usual drink and dancer combo. You knew which ones liked you, who would buy a dance from you and who would just get you a drink. All in all I don’t judge the men who paid my bills for the majority of my adult life so far, they have been all different kinds of people. Yes some we’re not good humans, some stank, some were rude and others handsy, but many were funny, generous and just wanted to forget real life for a moment.
8. I’ve danced for 9 years at various clubs from nice to meh.
Guys who sit at the bar and mind their own business are generally a pretty good target unless they are regulars who never do jack shit.
Regulars who never spend could get hit by a car and I wouldn’t help. They are often rude, prey on new girls, and mostly, waste everyone’s time.
Guys who come in and don’t tip, buy dances, or even buy us a drink, and/or act like they are too good are also fucking punk ass bitches.
People who sit around on their phones are rude as shit. If you sit at the tip rail on your phone, I want to kick your phone out of your hand so bad you don’t even know. I’m up here topless, performing for your entertainment, go to Hooters if you want to play heroes and castles on your phone and have a beer ffs.
Guys who are painfully nerdy and shy are my favorites. I keep a few polyhedral dice in my purse as a token of solidarity. I can smell that new boardgame smell across the room, through the stale beer and cotton candy perfume.
Good ole boys are going to be perfect gentlemen when sober, but will likely get drunk and commit the worst acts against you.
Blue collar workers are often paid cash daily. That guy covered in paint and concrete will make my day. They just want to cool off with a beer and feel special.
Woo girls and fake swingers are annoying af. Keep your girlfriend out of the club, she’s making a fool of herself by trying to crawl on stage, giving you the shittiest lapdance, and these women always do shit like groping us without asking or being really rough “because I’m a girl toooooo”. Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me. Becky.
Women who come in to try to “show us up” are bottom of the barrel creatures. Go back to your suburbanite nightclub and order your ciroc pineapple there, ok.
Actually gay and bi women are a treat. Performing for a woman who is legitimately interested in me is nice because it provides variety.
Travelling business men are an assorted bunch. They have good paying jobs, are lonely, likely very educated or savvy, and just want companionship. I spend a lot of time with these guys.
Weirdos. I mean real weirdos. The guys that still live at home and are spending their parents money, not because they are rich but because they are so weird/off they can’t hold down a job. These are the guys that I feel the worst about. Like, plz don’t come in here. You’re wasting your parents money and asking me to do oddly specific shit. Have some fucking tact.
The gang bangers. Ugh, these guys just suck. They are emotional, temperamental, and a fucking risk all around.
The “illegal activity” guys. These are the guys with the blow, the guys that constantly try to fuck girls, the guys that pull their dicks out on you, the guys that try to get girls “in their game” (they are pimps). These are the guys that could also get hit by a car and I wouldn’t help. Dealers, pimps, rapists, Johns; gtfo.
So yeah, I think that’s most everyone.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.