Every single goddamn day is just the same thing. Wake up early, battle through rush hour traffic, sit at work rotting away behind a desk for 8 hours, killing your eyes staring at a screen until they’re in pain and sore, then battle through rush hour traffic again to get home. I feel bad even asking for a single day off, so I have to keep working. All I ever do is work. One single day off for a holiday and then it’s back to work. My entire day is gone. The weather is so beautiful nowadays and I can’t even be outside to enjoy it. The best part of my day and the best years of my life are being sucked away from me before my eyes.
I’m only 22. I’ll never be this young or have this much energy again. I’ll never be in such good health again. And I have to waste it all away stuck behind this desk in this shitty 5 day in a row 40 hour work week. Did I mention I’m also taking classes at the same time. 4 days a week I have to go to class for 3 hours right after work and I have another class on Saturday morning. So there goes the rest of my free time. The weekend is way too short and doesn’t even feel like a weekend.
I’m supposed to be enjoying my life. I’m supposed to be making memories to look back on when I’m old and weak and dying. Instead I’m wasting everything away working myself to death and killing myself with these goddamn classes. I haven’t had a break for months. I never get to do anything fun anymore. I’m completely isolated and alone here. I have no friends in this shitty city. All of my college friends forgot about me even though I only graduated 10 months ago. I have no time for fun and no time for anything. What the fuck is the point of this life? I can’t even remember the last time I was happy. It’s just work work work work study study study study day after day after day after day, no break ever. I’m so fucking sick and tired of it. I’ve bought a rope and I’m just waiting for the day I can take this all away. I’m so fucking tired. I’m so fucking done.
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.