Why was Connie Corleone so upset over the death of her husband, Carlo Rizzi, considering all the abuse to which he subjected her, and even more so, his direct involvement in the death of Sonny Corleone?
For a number of reasons: The man she loved, and the father of her children, was dead. And Connie knew, way down deep inside — though she refused to admit it to herself for years — that Carlo was the reason Sonny was murdered on the Long Beach Causeway. Which means, she also knew — again, way down deep inside — that Carlo had it coming. She had simply hoped her position as the daughter of Vito and Carmela Corleone would insulate Carlo.
But most of all, Connie was the epitome of a victim of domestic abuse, meaning the years of Carlo physically beating her had conditioned her to believe it was somehow her fault he was unhappy and that his anger and violence was a result of her having no influence to make Carlo a part of the Corleone inner circle.
She probably also hoped that with time, things would improve Carlo’s standing with the family and that, between Connie and her father’s and brothers’ influences, she would be able to “change” Carlo into a better man.
In other words, she blamed everyone else except the asshole who was beating the shit out of her. And she blamed herself most of all. That was probably because of her own insecurity about being the daughter of the most powerful mobster in New York, which made her wonder if the men who came courting were only interested in her to get close to her father and brothers. Which Carlo proved a valid concern.
After they married, Carlo’s violent tendencies simply served to justify and feed into that insecurity, making Connie believe that if this handsome man could only want her because of her family, then no other man could ever want her for herself.
Which just made her more insecure and determined to hold onto someone who was no good for her, but of whom she didn’t believe she could do better.
And there was also the fact that apparently neither she nor Carlo had gone through the traditional formality of getting Vito’s blessing before marriage. Which meant Connie had also feared her father’s disapproval of her choice of a husband, which only served to make her even more insecure.
To be fair, we don’t know that Vito would have refused his blessing. In fact, I suspect Vito, being a pragmatist, would probably have put before Carlo a certain set of tasks to perform, probably over a period of time, to prove Carlo’s worthiness of Connie. And Carlo would have either cut and run, or… he would have completed his tasks and won Vito’s approval. (I’d bet on the former, myself, but that’s only conjecture.)
Whatever the case, Connie felt she needed to prove to her father (and later, Michael) Carlo was a decent, worthy man, a desire which only further exacerbated all of her uncertainties and self-doubt.
Ultimately, Michael’s order to eliminate Carlo pulled the final string that unraveled Connie’s psyche, because it forced her to admit her years of defending Carlo and accepting his abuse was all for naught and that she would never have been able to change him.
That was hard to deal with, and Connie fell apart, blaming Michael and falling into a pattern of substance abuse and letting men use her as a means of getting back at Michael.
– Peter Ramirez
