When I’m on my way home and I have to take a dump really bad, but if I run I will shit myself
When the dead guy at a funeral didn’t tell anyone he had a twin and everyone sees his twin for the first time
When my Saudi Arabian co-worker mentions that his uncle died on 9/11
When your iPhone charger breaks but your sibling has one that works
When I put an entire paycheck towards my debt
When the lady in line in front of me at the register pulls out a checkbook
When the girl is hideous but she is giving amazing head
My daughter’s reaction when I cut her hair for the first time
When I hear the girl I like talk about a guy she’s crushing on
When I’m paying for my burrito at Chipotle and one of the employees tells the cashier “Oh, he had guac!” at the last minute
Theodore Lee is the editor of Caveman Circus. He strives for self-improvement in all areas of his life, except his candy consumption, where he remains a champion gummy worm enthusiast. When not writing about mindfulness or living in integrity, you can find him hiding giant bags of sour patch kids under the bed.